I can do it myself

“I can do it myself!” said Ego.

Last week, I worked at my church’s equivalent to Vacation Bible School called EKWIP camp, which stands for Equipping Kids With Individual Purpose. It was an amazing week, and a great way to get to know more people in my new church. Coming together with my church family to provide a fun-filled week for the kids made my new church feel like home.

One of the things I was blessed to be a part of was the drama team. Casey’s brother wrote a script that spanned the week of camp, and I was the old actor as everyone else was a teenager.

The main character’s name was Ego. The gist of the week’s story was that Ego, a mechanic who worked for the bad guy, had come to the Master Mechanic (the good guys) shop as he tried to fix his boss’s broken car. When Grace, the owner of the shop, offered to help him fix it, he refused her help. “I can do it myself,” Ego said a thousand times during the week. He would not ask for Grace to help him.

Oh, how I know that line all too well. “I can do it myself.” When I was stumbling along through some tough stuff, I would pray and ask God for help. But ultimately, I didn’t think it was stuff God would fix for me--I thought I had to fix it on my own. I was the one who had gotten myself into this mess. I had to fix it myself.

Months after trying to deal with everything by myself, I admitted to God that I was so broken. I needed Him to put the pieces of my heart and my life back together again, because I couldn’t do it by myself. It was a hard thing to admit, because it made me feel like I hadn’t been strong enough. It required humility, which just made me feel even more broken.

God had been there the whole time. His hand had been in my situation even before I realized the mess I was in. He hadn’t forsaken me, even when I didn’t want His help. But when I called on grace, He gave it to me. I sure didn’t deserve it.

It’s easy to believe we don’t deserve grace. That we are too broken. That we’ve messed up too much. But Jesus says,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

When we are stumbling along in life through our weakness, God’s strength is made perfect in us. Paul even said:

“So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9

At the end of the drama, Ego learned that there was nothing wrong for asking for help when he needed it. There was no shame in needing Grace’s help. All he had to do was ask.

Asking for grace may sometimes feel like a moment of weakness, but you can rest assured that through grace, your weakness is made strong. We all need grace, and it is a gift that God gives freely.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift...
Romans 3:23-24

Do you need grace? Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for it. God wants to give you grace. All you have to do is ask.

My Journey into Essential Oils

A few months ago I bought my first essential oils! Lavender, peppermint, and lemon. (I also got vanilla, which isn't a true essential oil, but I LOVE the smell of vanilla.) I know there are a lot of people who love essential oils and all the things they can do. Honestly, I bought them to make things smell good.

I love making things on my own, and one of the things I wanted to make is cleaning solutions for my new home! I really hate the smell of most household cleaners―they're so strong―so I decided I could make them. Most homemade recipes have very simple ingredients like vinegar and castile soap. Essential oils are an added bonus for a good smell! Plus some of them have properties that work nicely in cleaning solutions, like the lemon oil I bought.

Turns out, I haven't really gotten into making cleaning solutions (instead I've been using the Think Dirty app to purchase better cleaning supplies), but I have been learning how to use my oils. Here are five ways I've enjoyed the three (plus one) oils!

1. Diffuse. Lemon, lavender, and peppermint are a powerhouse blend in the diffuser. However, my favorite is to diffuse the peppermint and vanilla!
2. Face Moisturizer. I use almond oil as my face moisturizer. In the morning, I use almond oil mixed with peppermint, and at night I use a mixture of almond oil, rosehip, and lavender.
3. Sleep. Lavender is known for its calming properties, so I put a drop underneath my pillow before bedtime. It usually helps me fall asleep quickly!
4. Headaches. Peppermint helps relieve pressure from headaches, so I'll rub a little on my temples if I feel a headache coming on.
5. Perfume. I had to stop wearing perfume years ago because it gives me headaches. But I love to rub a little peppermint and vanilla on the back of my neck. My mom says I smell like cotton candy.

Since I've gotten in the hang of using these oils, I've been doing research on more oils and finally decided to purchase more! I buy mine from Edens Garden. (Disclaimer: If you purchase using that link, I get reward points, which I can save up to spend on Edens Garden products.) They are high quality oils but because it is not an MLM, the prices are significantly more affordable. I did a lot of research and prayer before deciding to go with this company (if I was going to use oils, I wanted to make sure they were quality), but I'd also love to try some blends from some of the MLM companies eventually.

One reason I've become more interested as I've learned about oils is because I believe God gave us many tools that we need to take care of ourselves—plants being one of those tools—and that's where essential oils are from. I would rather use those natural gifts from God to take care of myself instead of manmade medicine when possible. (Not that there is anything wrong with medicine—we are so blessed to have it! I'm just really bad about popping Advil for anything and everything and would like to avoid it when essential oils can help instead.)

I'm so excited because I just got my next order in! Before it got here I already had a (very) detailed list about the blends and rollers I want to try! I'll be giving them a shot and I'll share more later.

Here's what I just got: cassia, cedarwood atlas, copaiba, cypress, eucalyptus globulus, frankincense, geranium, grapefruit, headease (an Edens Garden blend for headaches), patchouli, rosemary spanish, sweet orange, tea tree, ylang ylang

I also got fractionated coconut oil and roller balls (from Amazon) so I can make my own roller blends.

I'm looking forward to exploring the world of essential oils some more. It's been fun already and I love learning about it!

Fill Me Up

I found this sitting in my Google Drive. I wrote it in January, about a month after our missions trip to Singapore and Malaysia. I didn't write this to share as is--I was just pouring my heart out. It may not be eloquently written, but I've decided not to rewrite it and just leave it as is.

This week is our EKWIP camp (what we call Vacation Bible School), and I'm feeling worn out. These words that I wrote months ago spoke to me all over again, and I hope they encourage you too.

It’s great to give to others. Give your energy, time, money, prayers, etc. We’re supposed to do those things. But sometimes we give so much of ourselves that we become empty. I know I’m guilty of this. 

I fill my time with so many things. They aren’t bad things. It’s things like baking, kids ministry, hanging out with friends and fiancé (I hate that word but I liked the alliteration) [obviously Casey's my husband now], making cookies to raise funds for missions and other projects, helping out with things at my church. These aren’t bad things. Some of these things are great! Friendship and ministry and pouring into others is great!

But then I find myself empty.

I really noticed this when I was in Malaysia. It was week two in Asia and we had been nonstop. Between VBS, camp services, prepping and practicing, coffee dates and lunch dates and mall hangouts with our friends where we poured into them as much as we could about kids and youth ministry and life in general…. I was exhausted. I was tired of people. I was tired of noise. My energy was draining quickly, and I still had more services to do, more people to talk to and speak into their lives, and a 36 hour trip back home. I was tired. I wanted to stop.

This burnout doesn’t just happen in those times of hard ministry like missions trips and SALT. It happens in every day life too and I find myself feeling like I’m draining.

We must allow ourselves to be filled too. It’s important for missionaries and preachers to go to conferences and things where they can be fed and ministered to instead of ministering. To fill up.

In my Jesus time, I asked God to help me when I feel empty. To fill me back up so I can give more. And He convicted me. Why should I wait until I’m empty to fill up? Why am I not reaching for Him daily to fill me up so I never get empty?

I thought my introvertness was the reason why I was tired. I thought that’s why I got tired and overwhelmed. But I think it’s when I’m not giving myself to Him first so I can let Him fill me up.

Lord, fill me up each and every day so I’m running over and never run out. Fill me up and let me pour into others and then fill me up all over again. Don’t let me become empty.

Going Green

I firmly believe that the Lord put the earth in our hands to take care of, and I want to do my part. I have a long list of things I eventually want to do to help sustain the earth, so today I'm going to share what I'm already doing and the next steps I want to take this year. I believe that baby steps are the key to accomplishing any goal, so I'll take this one step at a time!

What I'm already doing:

• Recycle. I was so excited that Hammond has a recycling program! They pick it up with the trash every week. I bought a cute basket to keep in our kitchen so I can put all our recyclables in there and empty it into the recycling bin on trash day.
• Bring reusable bags to the store. I decided to start using reusable bags when I moved to Hammond. I keep my bags in my car at all times, making sure to put them back in there as soon as I unload my groceries. This has helped me a lot with remembering my bags when I grocery shop! Sometimes I forget to take them into other stores (like TJ Maxx, Hobby Lobby, etc.), and I often forget to grab them if Casey and I take his car, but remembering most of the time is a great step in the right direction!
• Drink out of a reusable cup instead of bottled water. Casey's grandma got us some travel mugs that keep hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold. I love it for keeping my water ice cold! We bought a filter for our faucet so we have filtered water and don't have to use bottled water!
• Use cloth instead of paper. I'm a messy cook. So I have an entire drawer FULL of (cute) dish rags and towels. We keep a basket on the counter to put the dirty rags until it's time to wash them. Next I need to get us some cloth napkins so we can stop using dish rags for dinner! I also have a basket in each bathroom with blue cleaning rags and the main bathroom has a specific basket for dirty cleaning rags. I have to wash them separately or they turn the laundry blue! I do keep one or two paper towel rolls in the house for certain things (like when I have a sick puppy), but I rarely ever use them. 
• Turn off the faucet while I brush my teeth. I almost forgot to include this one because I started doing that a few years ago. It's super easy to do!
• Let the sunshine in! We are blessed to have a TON of windows in our house. I literally prayed for a home with lots of windows, and God answered! During the day, I never turn on lights, but choose to let the natural light in!
• Shop at the farmers market. Casey and I love to walk to the farmers market on Saturdays, and I usually pick up some strawberries. I'd love to start buying more of my produce there and support our local farmers and economy. Plus, the food is so much fresher!

I'm honestly pretty proud of myself for what I've done so far to "go green." Most of these changes have been easier to implement than I thought they'd be! Here are some of the next steps I'd like to take this year.

• Hang dry more laundry. I already hang dry most of my clothing (I worry about it shrinking in the dryer), but I would like to hang dry more. I've started putting my bathroom rug and blankets on the fence to dry, but I got a foldable drying rack to dry more of our laundry. 
• Switch to green cleaning products. I need to do more research on this, but want to use cleaning methods that are better for our home and environment.
• Use stainless steel straws. And bring them to restaurants with me! I need to get some of these soon!
• Collect rainwater to water plants. It tends to rain in the afternoons here, so all I need to do is set out a bucket! We don't have a lot of plants to water anyway, so I wouldn't have to collect much.

My ultimate list has more items on it, but I am choosing to focus on the above things first. Here are some other things I'd like to eventually do!

• Use bamboo toothbrushes.
• Carry my own reusable utensils in my car or purse for when I grab something quick to eat.
• Carry my own containers to restaurants for leftovers.
• Unplug items I'm not using.
• Create a compost bin for food leftovers.
• Choose products with less wasteful packaging or buy in bulk using my own containers. 
• Grow some of my own food, probably starting with herbs.
• Plant a tree.

I've been enjoying gaining more knowledge and information about things I can do to help this beautiful planet that the Lord gave us! Some of them are big steps from where I am currently, but I know that lots of little steps still make a difference. I also hope that perhaps something I do can inspire others. My friend is the reason I started carrying recyclable bags to the store, so perhaps one of my actions will inspire one of my friends to do the same! 

If you're interested in making steps to going green with me, pick something out of these ideas that seems the easiest for you and do that! I truly believe our actions can make a difference--even if they are small. Let's make this world a better place together!

Surround Yourself

photographer: Aaron Cox

One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1

I’m an introvert. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say that (apparently I talk a lot??), but that’s because a lot of people think that introvert = shy and extrovert = not shy. But that’s not the case. Rather, an introvert gets energy from being alone (and can find it draining to be around people) and an extrovert gets energy from being around people.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being around people! But that was not always the case. Years ago, I had some tough stuff happen and I found myself keeping completely to myself. “That’s okay,” I thought. “I’m an introvert. Being alone is good for me.” And I truly believed it. But the reality was that it wasn’t. Unfortunately I couldn’t see that at the time.

As I came out of those trying times and began to once again connect with my old friends, I realized how dark my life had been.

Today’s verse says that a person who isolates himself pursues selfish desires. I can totally see where I did that. My wanting to be alone was completely selfish! I thought MY life was better that way and I literally didn’t care about other people. I abandoned my friends. I purposely tried to avoid people in public. And I blamed it all on the fact that “I’m an introvert.”

The verse also says that a person who isolates himself “rebels against all sound wisdom.” How about this biblical sound wisdom:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

You see, the Bible is adamant that we surround ourselves with godly people!

My life truly blossomed once I surrounded myself with godly friends. There was more laughter, more love, more joy. But it wasn’t easy to break away from my old ways. It literally took years of baby steps. I started spending more time with friends. I’d force myself to say hi to every person on the elevator. I started going to the cashier instead of the self checkout.

All these small changes helped me to break out of my isolation. I first surrounded myself with my godly friends who helped get me out of my funk. They loved on me and showed me how to love. Then I took that love and began sharing it with everyone I come in contact with, which is what we are called to do!

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11

This purpose of this post is to encourage you to not isolate yourself, but rather find ways to connect with godly people. Surround yourself with those people and allow their light to shine in your life, and you will find yourself shining a light into others!

If you feel like you have no godly friends, pray and ask God to send you someone. I promise He will. He’s done this for me before and for my friends as well. He wants you to have godly company and will make a way for you!