I Said YES!!!

"We're just so relieved she said YES!"

That's what Bro. Alan kept telling people when they found out we got engaged the second day of our mission trip. Then Casey and I would just give each other a look and a smile. He knew he didn't have to worry about what my answer would be when he asked me. There was never any question.

YES!

"Why Singapore?"

That's what everyone kept asking us. We thought it was a strange question, but I guess most people don't realize how special Singapore is to us. It was the place of both of our first missions trips. It was the first place Casey held my hand. It's the place where some of our favorite people live, people we wish we could see more often, people we love and care about more than words can say.

And many of those people were there when he knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him. That was not the plan, I later learned. He had planned to propose on Tuesday at the Merlion statue. He had not planned on the youth group of the church we were working with to insist on taking us to dinner that night. So he let them in on the secret and they made sure we made it to the Merlion after dinner. They were all surrounding us with phones and cameras as he sweetly asked me to be his wife.

And the ring! Oh, the ring. It's gorgeous. I can't help but stare at it. A lot. People ask if he picked it out himself and YES. He did. He did so good. It's absolutely perfect and so very me.

I'm beyond excited to have the privilege of marrying Casey. He is amazing and wonderful and more than I could have ever asked for or dreamed. God really outdid Himself with this one.

Our relationship hasn't always been easy or perfect by any means, but it's been a wonderful adventure, and I'm excited for what's to come. Here's to forever with my favorite human!

See Ya Soon, Singapore!

We're in the single digits, folks. Only NINE more days until take off and I'm on my way back to Singapore again! I've been wanting to go back since I returned last year. I think Singapore will always have a special place in my heart. Partly because it was my first missions trip. Partly because I made amazing friends there. Partly because it was where Casey first held my hand. There are lots of reasons.

This year's plan is the same as last year's--the team of six I'm going with will be the children's ministers at a Vacation Bible School in Singapore and a family camp meeting in Malaysia. We'll spend about a week in Singapore (a few days of VBS, a few days of sightseeing) before loading onto the bus with the rest of the church and heading to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia.

I'm incredibly excited because Casey is coming again AND my bestie Sarah is coming for the first time! She went to Malaysia earlier this year and is excited to be going to Singapore! (For reference, Sarah is Rachel's sister. Also you should go check out Rachel's blog!)

My first time going to Singapore was a literal dream come true. I've felt called to missions for years but had gotten myself into a position in life where it simply wasn't an option for me. I thought I would never get to go on a missions trip and I begged God daily to take away my desire to go. I mean daily. I mean crying in my car and pouring my heart out to God and begging him to take away my desire for missions. Every. Single. Day. He said no. And then He said, it's time.

Sometimes it's really hard for me to trust God, especially His timing. He often does things quite a bit differently than I would, and it's always better than I would have done. I'm really glad He doesn't let me run the show. I can truly say I'm grateful for the wait. I needed to be in a different place in life before going. I needed to learn to trust Him and rely on Him. I needed to build my relationship with Him. I needed to have more experience. All in all, it was worth it. It was worth all the tears. It was worth a passport that remained unstamped for years and years. He did everything in His timing, and it turned out perfectly.

In nine days I leave for my third missions trip. That's THREE missions trip in the span of a year. THREE missions trips that I thought would never happen. I never thought I'd go to Asia or Hawaii (which I realized I've never shared about here!). But WOW. Here I am! And also along the way I accidentally started a baking business. The last year has been a good one. A crazy one. A busy one. A wonderful one. A year I'll never ever forget.

Photography Friday: Bestie Getting Married!

"Sarah, you need to find out when Gordon is proposing so we can plan the engagement party."
"He hasn't told me anything yet."

Little did we know, about the same time we were having our discussion, Gordon was down on one knee asking Rachel to marry him.

And they didn't bother to tell us. Instead, they walked in my house like nothing had happened, and we started having a discussion about the SnackCrate we were about to consume. And then I noticed... her hand was sparklier than it had been before.

"Sarah," I whispered. "Look at Rachel's hand."

Screaming ensued from Sarah and me. Laughing ensued from Rachel and Gordon. Confusion crossed Casey's face because he didn't know why there was so much chaos going on all of a sudden.

After much congratulations we got on to Gordon for not telling us because we were missing out on a very important party opportunity! Good thing we're quick on our feet. We grabbed the SnackCrate of Polish snacks and took off to surprise Rachel's parents with the exciting news.

The next day we went to the spot where he proposed and took a few photos.

I'm so excited for Rachel and Gordon! Let the wedding planning begin!

The Thing God Didn't Give Me

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
‭‭2 Timothy ‭1:7‬

Fear is a very real thing. A thing I have dealt with before in a manner that was almost crippling. It got ahold of my every thought, it followed me with every step I took. I didn’t know what to do to overcome it, so I started quoting scripture in my head as often as I could. This verse was a favorite of mine and I found myself quoting it a lot. Eventually, that heavy fear that took over my life left me, but that didn’t mean that fear wasn’t something I never had to battle again.

I think sometimes my fear is more based on worry. Worry that I will mess up or make a bad decision. And I’ve dealt with that particular kind of fear a lot over the last few years. It was hindering me from making life-altering decisions because I was afraid I’d make the wrong choice. One morning I woke up and was having my Jesus time and this scripture popped into my head.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear.” It’s simple. It’s written there. But in that moment I realized:

Fear doesn’t come from God. And that day I set aside the fear and started making decisions about my future, because I knew that God held my future, and He did not give me a fear of my future.

But the verse goes on. It is such a comfort to know that God doesn’t give us fear—any fear we have is coming from some other source we must try and identify. But what DOES God give us?

Power.
Love.
A sound mind.

I love the way the amplified version says “a calm, well-balanced mind and self control.” Have you ever felt like your mind was muddled? Like there was no peace? Well that means that the enemy has stolen the thing that God gave you—peace of mind—and replaced it with his own “gift” of fear.

I love presents, but they aren’t all good. And the “gift” of fear from the devil is one that we need to throw away. Buh-bye fear. You aren’t welcome here anymore.

Instead, I’m accepting the gifts the Lord has given me. POWER to overcome the devil with God on my side. LOVE to push away the darkness and know I am found and cherished in His eyes, knowing He has a purpose for me. A SOUND MIND so I can live in peace and purpose.

Celebrate today with the beautiful gifts that God has for you, and rest assured in knowing that he holds both your present and your future, and you have no need to fear.

When God Takes the Good

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21

The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. I’m so grateful for everything He’s given to me. It’s easy to bless His Name when you’re hashtag #blessed. It’s easy to bless His Name when he’s taking out poisonous people and destructive situations. But it’s a whole lot harder to give Him praise when He’s taking away your good stuff.

He took good people. He took my home. He took my money. He just LET those things be taken away from me!

He let me hurt. He let me suffer. He let me beg Him daily to take away the pain and heal my hopeless situation.

BUT GOD.

Then He gave me freedom. And He showed me my reason to live—HIM. He restored my practically nonexistent relationship with Him. He provided financially abundantly, more than I’d ever experienced before. He replaced the old and lost with new and better. He opened the doors I thought were shut to me forever. He gave me understanding of His love and power. He taught me the power of my prayers. He healed me. He restored my love and trust.

The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. He takes away not only the things that are bad, the things that keep us from Him. But He also takes the good things that He wants to replace with better things.

In the moment, and even later on, I may not understand, but I do know:

My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are my ways higher than your ways
And my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

He knows the why behind the goodbye. He has a plan for your future. And it’s far greater than you can ever imagine.

Thank you, Lord, for removing things in my life so You could be glorified all the more when You restore and pour out your blessings abundantly.

This song comes to mind when I think of the things I’ve lost and the things I have to gain! Better days are ahead of me!

Meditation Monday: What perfume are you wearing?

I’ve got on my belt of truth and helmet of salvation. Gospel shoes on my feet. Shield of faith is ready to go. I’m ready for war--this day to day fight to live for truth and stand up for what’s right, refusing to give in or give up. We talk a lot about the importance of wearing the armor of God, but there’s another thing we need to make sure we wear.

Our perfume.

The way we smell is (obviously) really important. No one wants to be around someone who stinks. I remember in high school there was a girl who had terrible B.O. The mean girls would put deodorant in her locker making fun of her (and honestly we all hoped she would actually use it). And I, being the nice good girl, often became her partner for assignments because no one else wanted to be around her. I would try to hold my breath around her, but that only was good for a few seconds, then I was forced to take a breath of air and hope I wouldn’t pass out from the awful smell. She stunk, and no one wanted to be around her because of it.

While proper hygiene is important and something we should definitely be striving for, that’s not what I’m talking about today. Instead, I’m talking about our spiritual scent. How do we “smell” to others? How do we “smell” to God?

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us spreads and makes evident everywhere the sweet fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are the sweet fragrance of Christ which ascends to God, discernible both among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;

2 Corinthians 2:14-15 (AMP)

It is our job as Christians to spread God to everyone just like the scent of perfume fills a room. When we walk by, others should be able to smell Him on us. They should be able to smell Him win our words and actions. His scent should linger on us. They should know we spend time with the King because we smell of His scent.

When Mary washed the feet of Jesus, she poured onto his feet very expensive perfume and dried his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. (John 12:3) The scent alerted everyone in the house that she was there to worship Jesus. But even once she was no longer in his midst, the scent she had poured on him still lingered on her hair. She smelled just like Jesus. Her scent alone was proof that she had been in his presence, and the aroma followed her for others to smell as well.

That’s what we must strive for as well. To spread that sweet aroma. But how do we share that sweet smell? Through our praise and worship, spending time in His throneroom.

In the Old Testament, praise was a literal aroma, a mixture of flour and incense that was burned and offered to God. The Bible calls it a “sweet aroma to the Lord” (Leviticus 2:2 NKJV). Though our worship no longer contains actual offerings of fragrance and incense, we should still “smell” good to God. This means spending time with him. Choosing a lifestyle that is pleasing unto him. Honoring him with our words, attitude, entertainment, thoughts, relationships. Worship is our lifestyle. Does your lifestyle have a pleasing aroma to God?

My goal in life is to bring to God a sweet aroma of worship. To live my life in a way that lifts up a precious scent to Him. A scent that will linger on me, that others will smell on me, so I can make known everywhere the sweet fragrance of Him. 

Application

Pray: 

Lord, I live my life to worship You. May you find my worship and lifestyle pleasing, a sweet aroma. If my life has a foul odor to you, point out to me the stench, and help me to address it and allow You to cleanse me in that area.

Help me to walk daily in love, spreading the knowledge of You wherever I go and to everyone I meet. May they smell Your aroma on me and know I’ve been with You. Let it be a sweet odor that they want to experience more of. May it lead them to You.

A Weekend Full of Fancy

Brunch at the English Tea House? You never have to ask me twice. With hundreds of flavors of tea and delicious food, I will always say yes. The only problem? It's like five hours away. BUT it is also near my boyfriend. (HIM being five hours away is obviously the bigger problem.) So I find myself there sometimes.

For my birthday weekend, brunch was even sweeter, because my besties and I turned it into a girls' road trip! And no, we did not only go for tea. For some reason we all decided to date guys who live in that area. We decided in advance to make this outing more special than normal by dressing up. Thankfully the boyfriends are really awesome and were totally okay with this.

Julianne has an eye for vintage like no one else, so she brought along some pretty vintage pieces for me to try on, and I loved this orange dress. It's definitely not my norm by any means. I rarely wear orange nor do I usually wear that style of dress. But for a special day, why not? She also lent me a cute hat that kept falling off my head. Oops.

The owner of the tea room was so excited to see a group of young people all dressed up and enjoying her establishment. She came to us and asked if she could take a group picture of us. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect," she said. I half expected her to cry! Then she gave us a gift card to use next time we go. I thought that gesture was so sweet! We will most definitely be back!

After the tea room, we went to a few antique shops in the area, then Casey and I went to Oak Alley Plantation. It was supposed to be a surprise, but he ended up telling me about it. Didn't matter though, because I was excited to go! It was so beautiful. The first thing we did was walk to the end of the alley of oak trees. The trees are around 300 years old and they're expected to live another 300 years! We enjoyed a late lunch on the property and took a tour of the house. The history behind it is truly fascinating!

We ended the night with pizzas made by Julianne, her sister Rose, and her boyfriend, Caleb (who is Casey's brother). Also there were two little puppies that we played with. They were the actual cutest and were so tiny we put them in a coffee cup. A "puppuccino" if you will.

I'm so grateful to have such amazing friends and a sweet boyfriend who made it a fun weekend. I'm already ready for the next one!

Meditation Monday: Judge Me

“The Lord judges the peoples; judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭7:8‬ ‭ESV‬

“Only God can judge me.”

I’ve heard people say this before, and I'm sure you have too. Usually it’s because they feel like someone is judging them and they don’t like the judgment they’re getting from their fellow human. In order to feel better, it’s easy to think, “Well, no human’s judgment matters.” So we put the task on God.

“Only God can judge me.” Are you sure you want Him to? If you don’t want a person to be judging your actions, what makes you think God’s opinion will be any better? More than that, His is the only opinion that matters! If God were to judge you, what would He say?

This is definitely not the funnest thing to think about. When I ask myself that, it forces me to take a good, hard look at myself. And I don’t always like what is revealed. It’s painful. Sometimes it’s just too easy to live how I want to, and I’d rather ignore the fact that I am purposefully choosing to live in a way that is not pleasing to the Lord. Because the blame can be put on only me. I made those decisions. And I really don’t want to be judged for my decisions.

“But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭11:31-32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Crazy enough, it’s actually a good thing to let God judge us. I know, it sounds scary and makes us realize that we fall short. And that is exactly the point. We fall short. But God is here to help.

If we allow the Lord to judge us, He will correct us.

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.Proverbs 3:12 NLT

But no one likes being disciplined! (amiright?) Growing up I hated being disciplined. I wanted to do what I wanted to do without consequences! Without being corrected! But my parents loved me too much to let me have my way when they knew my way was wrong.

Our heavenly father is the same way. He loves us so much. THAT is why he corrects us. Not to condemn us or make us feel guilty, but rather so we can live in His promises. He corrects us in love.

Application

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to “judge” yourself.
Are there areas in my life in which I’m disobeying God?
Am I spending time with Him daily through prayer, Bible reading, and fasting?
Are my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts honoring Him?
What areas do I need to improve in?

Are you ready to ask what David did?

Pray: “Judge me, oh Lord. Point out the areas in my life that aren’t pleasing to you. Correct me in Your love. Help me in my shortcomings. Discipline me so I will not be condemned with the world. Open my ears to hear your instructions. Open my eyes to see and understand the laws written in Your word. I will obey your instruction and correction.”

Meditation Monday: Even When

They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. 

Nehemiah 9:17 ESV

Background

Nehemiah has just rebuilt the wall to Jerusalem, and all the people are gathered round after a week of fasting to listen to the Law of God. The Levites (i.e. the guys who run the temple) use this as an opportunity to remind all the Israelites of the past. Specifically, how the Israelites didn’t do a good job trusting God when He led them out of Egypt. In fact, they had wanted to go BACK into slavery (!!) despite the fact that He rescued them in this amazing, supernatural showdown. 

Proof of supernatural showdown:

1) Signs and wonders and plagues to convince Pharaoh to let them go (See Exodus chapters 7 through 12)
2) He divided the sea so they could walk on dry land, then it closed back up after they had crossed, effectively drowning the Egyptians who were chasing them to bring them back to be slaves again.
3) He provided a pillar of cloud to lead them in the day, and a pillar of fire to light the way they should go at night.
4) God provided manna for them so they never had to go hungry.
5) Brought water from the rock for them to drink.

There’s literally no way that the Israelites should want to turn their backs on God after all that, right? Or think He’s not all powerful and capable of leading them into the promised land? But goodness, those Israelites. They’re notorious for turning their backs on God again and again and again.

They decided to put their trust in man instead of God, and they were ready to walk back to Egypt and put their chains back on themselves.

BUT

You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.

I don’t even know where to start at that verse, so let’s just start at the beginning. Despite the fact they had basically given up on God, He was ready to forgive. He’s gracious. He’s merciful. He had every single right to get angry with them and just forget them, but His anger is slow. He had every reason to just let them be and fail on their own. But He abounds in steadfast, unwavering love. He had no reason to stick around with them, but He didn’t leave them.

I’m grateful that He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. Because I’m in need of those things. Of a God who forgives, extends his grace and mercy to me, is patient with me, loves me despite my faults, and sticks by my side even when I’m ignoring Him. I’ve been there before. Have you?

Let’s keep reading. It’s kind of a long passage, but stick with me.

Even when they had made for themselves a golden calf and said, ‘This is your God who brought you up out of Egypt,’ and had committed great blasphemies, you in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day, nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them the way by which they should go. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst. Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell.

Nehemiah 9:18-21 (emphasis mine)

Okay, remember those awesome, supernatural things God did? Even when they forsook Him, He didn’t take those things away from them. Even when they appointed a leader to take them back to Egypt, God didn’t take away that promised land. Even when they REPLACED Him with a GOLD COW and blasphemed Him, He didn’t leave them.

Even when…

What follows those two words in your life? Even when… I gave up on His promises. Even when… I turned to the world for love and satisfaction. Even when… I tried to do things my own way. Even when… I left to live a life of sin.

He’s still with you.

He hasn’t forsaken you. He never will. You may leave God, but He will never leave you.

Even when...

Application

Whatever follows your personal "even when..." will try to make you doubt that God is still with you. Read these verses as reassurance. He will never leave you, even when.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; "He will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Deuteronomy 31:8

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. "As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Joshua 1:5

The Monday-est of Mondays

Today was a Monday. You know what I'm talking about. When Monday is the epitome of Mondays. That was today for me. I had too much to do. It was overwhelming me. It was raining. Monday.

Poor Casey just let me rant and complain to him. He offered me very good advice. I got mad at him because what he was saying was very true and I needed to hear it, even though I didn't want to.

After I got off the phone with him this afternoon, I had a good cry, sat down and got some of that to-do list done (it wasn't nearly as much as I had over-imagined it being), then spent some time talking to God. Then I found myself reading my journals. I have several. One of them is my personal journal where I write about what's going on in my life. The other one is labeled "God-captured thoughts." I use this journal to write prayers and anything I feel God is telling me or led me to during prayer and Bible reading.

After reading through both journals, the thing I realized is that God has never let me down. He takes care of me. He may not always answer my prayers the way I want them answered, but He takes care of things in His own way (and timing). It always comes back to... TRUST HIM.

Trust is my word for the year. Last year I realized I wasn't near as good at trusting God as I thought I was. And it's still a journey. A daily journey. Giving everything to God every day. Making sure I don't try to take back things and try to control my life myself. As it turns out, God is a whole lot better at running my life than I am!

The day ended on a high note. Through prayer and reflection upon how God has always come through for me, I was able to adjust my attitude. A few hours later, I called Casey back and we had a long phone call where he pointed out some really cool stuff in the Bible I'd never realized and spent lots of time reminding me he's always there for me. (I have a really amazing boyfriend.) Also I ordered a new Bible that I'm really excited about.

Monday, you won't conquer me. I've got Jesus on my side.

Photography Friday: Renaissance Festival

Still catching up on some editing from 2016! These are from November when a group of us went to the Renaissance Festival in south Louisiana. Gotta say I have an awesome crew of friends. 

Cookie Crazies

A few months ago, I was on the phone with Casey talking about how I needed to figure out how to raise some money for our upcoming missions trip. He told me I should sell my baked goods, specifically my cookies. Now granted, I hadn't been making cookies long, but people kept telling me me they were too pretty to eat. But I couldn't imagine people actually paying me for cookies. 

Thing is, Casey is really good at making his point, and his points are generally really good. "God gives you your passions and gifts, so you might as well use them for Him," he told me. "Besides, the worst thing that can happen is no one buys them and you have a lot of cookies to eat." That's hardly a bad thing! By the end of the week, I had created some Valentine cookie packages and took to Facebook to sell them.

My mind was blown. Absolutely blown by the response. I can still hardly believe it. Not only did that fundraiser go incredibly well, but I did another one for Easter, expecting way less interest. Instead, I got MORE interest. AND not only that, but people keep asking me to make cookies for events and parties. 

The Lord truly provides. 

Now I have a kind of sorta side business making cookies and the proceeds go towards my missions trips. (Yes, plural. I'm so excited!)

Anyways, here are a few of the cookies I've made in the last few months!